Blackwater Series Opens with Deadly Cart Race

The morning of April 8, 2023 began like any other at Blackwater Farm with a gentle mist and the peaceful chirping of crickets. However, the calm of the farm was soon pierced by the cries of mangled and injured ponies who dared to run the deadly new “Ping Pong Carting” track which marked the opening of the Blackwater Series.

Ponies line up to compete on Ping Pong Carting, the first race of the Blackwater Series.

Ping Pong Carting is a sweeping and lengthy track littered with dangerous hairpin corners and — a first in pony play — a massive number of rusting metal barrels filled with deadly toxic waste. “Why? Why???” screamed Rebarka “Poodle” Barkwoof (rebecca.blackwood) as she limped away from the track, her limbs melted away by toxic chemicals.

“Blackwater Farm is very proud to open our race series today with this brand new race course,” said Lady Winnifred Blackwater (winnie.sweetwater). “We are delighted that so many fans of pony competition could join us on this beautiful day,” she added, sipping a chardonnay to the screams of injured ponies. Lady Blackwater is the matriarch of the Blackwater family and owner of the fabled Blackwater Farm.

The Ping Pong course features an end section of randomly-placed toxic waste barrels that racers must navigate to reach the finish line.

The Blackwater Series, which commenced on April 8, is a bi-weekly string of live races alternating among various disciplines. The races are held on Saturdays or Sundays and feature two heats (11am and 6pm) to permit equal participation across timezones. The series is hosted by Lady Blackwater and is open to the public. “Blackwater Farms is my favorite place in the world!” said Ms. Barkwoof as she bandaged up her near-fatal injuries.

A racer crashes her cart into the wall on the Ping Pong course on April 8, 2023 at Blackwater Farm.

Not everyone is excited about the new race series. “Does Rebarka (a/k/a the Poodle) need to be invited?” the Mule asked, grumbling as usual. “What kind of a name is Rebarka?” the Mule added, laughing with glee as multiple ponies crashed on the dangerous course. All those involved had a wonderful time.

The next installment in the Blackwater Series will be held the weekend of April 22-23, 2023. Official date, time and course information will be published online.

A lucky pony at the race won an all-expenses paid trip to the Blackwater Asylum.

Full race results:

1Yelly1111 Resident 71:45621/0
2Mel71201 Resident71:75935/0
3Leatherbabe4 Resident71:97168/0
4Ralna Payne73:94149/0
5Fluffmp Resident74:92876/0
6Martashiny Resident 74:93158/0
7Rebecca Blackwood75:15927/0
8Lovejoyful Resident75:70270/0
9Maxie Rizzo75:17123/1
10Branville Resident83:11220/0
11Clairedeladeuxieme Resident83:24458/0
12Phantomfeline Resident 80:77251/1

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